You're a Donkey Twice
by CoralSnakeUSA
Summary: The saga of the Wishing Star / Wormhole continues in the world and time of James Bond, agent 007
1. Chapter 1

You're a Donkey Twice:

Chapter 1 - Another New World

This is a new fan fic continuing the story of Pinocchio, Jiminy Cricket, Lampwick and Gepetto in the Wishing Star / Wormhole saga. This story finds our heroes in the early modern world of 1971 shortly after the death of that world's arch criminal Ernst Stavro Blofeld. SPECTRE now has a new leader, those who have read my previous simple story The Junior Woodchucks and the Coachman will probably know who this leader is already is but for any new readers we will be keeping it quiet until the end of his introduction.

Needless to say this man is so dangerous it will take the combined forces of our heroes plus MI-6 and their most well known agent dealing in unusual cases James Bond Agent 007 to put a stop to the new SPECTRE leader.

**Don't ask me where this fits in either the legitimate Pinocchio or James Bond continuity. it's a Fan fic. ;c)**

Imagine Pinocchio, Gepppetto, Jiminy Cricket, Lampwick as a donkey and Sean Connery In "the gun barrel scene".

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da,

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da,

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da,

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da,

Ta, Da, Ta, Da, Daa

Ta, Da, Ta, Da, Da

SPECTRE Island, off the Coast of Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

There was no better place for the main SPECTRE headquarters than the old island, rumored to be the site of a cursed amusement park in the late 1870s and early 1880s. In this time the only part of the old park that was restored was the management office building which took that roll again for the more "legitimate" front businesses SPECTRE hid behind. It was said that at one time this building was open for vandalization in order to make the amusement park's curse work faster on its vandal victims. The rest of the island was dedicated to the various SPECTRE training and brainwashing facilities. At the center of the island's surface was a simple round dome shaped building once believed to be the site of a grand saloon in the cursed amusement park. Now the building contained an elevator into the main SPECTRE meeting room in at grand cavern in the island's interior. The meeting hall was on a platform surrounded by water from the sea making a vast pool of most of the cavern. Its structure consisted of a horseshoe arrangement of chairs around a throne like chair.

On the throne like chair was the supreme leader over SPECTRE with the white Persian cat that was the living symbol of the organization. In many ways the man was like their old "Number 1" as the leader of SPECTRE was called, Ernst Stavro Blofeld in spending his time both lavishing pet to owner affection on the white Persian cat while at the same time handing out harsh discipline.

"Number 6." the leader on the throne with the cat said in a distinct cockney accent, "I told you to take that blue object out of the sky?" Number 1 asked

"I put our best scientist, Number 4 on that assignment." Number 6 said.

"and," Number 1 continued.

"He failed, Number 1" Number 6 answered. "After all what you want taken down is a star in the sky. It might even be light years away."

"You know the penalty for failure." Number 1 said quietly pressing a button on arm of his throne chair.

With that his one of the new Number 1's associates came up behind Number 6 with a hypodermic syringe. He appeared to be about to thrust it into Number 6 but at the last minute thrust it into the neighboring Number 4 instead.

The effect was sudden. There was a sudden fright upon the syringe's alien substance entering number 4's body, Number 1 sat calmly watching the substance's handiwork while petting and stroking the cat. First Number 4's human voice was gone replaced by the HE HAW!!! Braying of a donkey. Then his ears grew long and furry an did his nose and mouth till they resembled a donkey face and muzzle his hands and feet were fused into black hooves. Finally he grew a donkey tail and was forced on all fours with his cloths ripping off him as he changed fully into a adult donkey. The man that gave the shot to Number 4 was one of the two newer associates that that showed up with the new Number 1, the one that wore that very realistic fox mask. At least it was "officially" called a mask because the only other alternative to the mask theory of the man's face in this day and age was that the rest of the SPECTRE executive committee with human faces was going crazy. The other new immediate associate of the new Number 1 "officially" wore a cat mask and was apparently mute. However after what they just saw maybe the SPECTRE could except the idea of fox human and cat human beings without going crazy.

"Yes, Mr. Fowlfellow". announced Number 1 to the fox faced man, "This new scientific way of turning people into donkeys by radical DNA modification is very effective. The old way only worked on boys but this new method works on adult men as well. But it's still impractical in this day and age except for punishment of failing operatives. You may sell this one to the embassy of some third world country that still uses animal labor if you wish."

Everybody's eyes were on Number 1. As opposed to the Late Ernst Stavro Blofeld, a well built man who either wore modern business suits or Mauist style uniforms this new Number 1 was obese and wore a red 19th century coat that nearly went down to his ankles, his grandfatherly face was topped with a short crowned top hat. While they accepted this man and his oddball half animal appearing associates as their new leaders the SPECTRE executive committee did not know that this man who now held the white Persian cat, the living symbol of their organization was the original owner of SPECTRE Island when it was a cursed amusement park, the Coachman. His new immediate associates in the SPECTRE organization were John Worthington Fowlfellow and Gideon.

Now it is the time to imagine the silhouette women dancing around a donkey representing Lampwick during the musical interlude before the main part of this Pinocchio / James Bond thriller.

The song parody here is sung to You only Live Twice.

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da. Da, Da

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da. Da, Da

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da. Da, Da

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da. Da, Da

Taaaa

You're a donkey twice, was not your dreams.

The Coachman's cursed park, was not what it seems.

You spent your time there, on beer and pool.

All of this to avoid, your problems and school.

For that fox like stranger, he beckoned you on.

You didn't see danger, your humanity's gone.

For coming back here, you'll pay the price.

Until you can conquer the curse, you're a donkey twice.

For that fox like stranger, he beckoned you on.

You didn't see danger, your humanity's gone.

For coming back here, you'll pay the price.

Until you can conquer the curse, you're a donkey twice.

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da, Da

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da, Da

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da, Da

Ta, Da, Da, Da, Ta, Da, Da, Da

Taaaa

Before the lawn sign of "Universal Exports", London, England 1971.

This was not the type of world for a fairy to stick around in too long in. Many of the people in 1971 were so "logical" and "reasonable" in their beliefs that even GOD got the short shift let alone something like a fairy.

While she would show up if Pinocchio made no headway with MI-6 for exposing the new leader of SPECTRE for now discression was considered the better part of valor in this materialistically driven "reasonable" time period. Pinocchio and Geppetto would get along in this world as Pinochio was now a real boy and Gepetto was a real man. Lampwick would also be acceptable in this world as a donkey, Jiminy however would have to continue his regular perch under Pinocchio's hat well hidden. However some magic was still around if it had to be used. Lampwick still retained his power of speech where some MI-6 personel were concerned and they were soon to be shocked out of their "reasonable" and "logical" cacoons.

A world these "reasonable" people would consider to be the world of fairy tales had already invaded their "reasonable" world in an evil way when the Coachman took the late Ernst Stavro Blofeld's place at the head of SPECTRE and now it would have to invade in a good way to clean up the mess.

About a half hour after their arrival in the London of the year 1971 a woman came up the sidewalk by the lawn sign in their direction. She was in early middle age and looked to be about 38 to 40 years of age. She had dark grown hair with some early gray mixed in with it and wore a blue business like dress.

"And just what are you doing here?" She directed her question at Gepetto who was obviously the more mature member of the group hanging around the lawn sign. If your purpose here is for your young Scout to present this donkey as a Husbandsman proficiency badge project then he should be seeing his Scoutmaster, Mr. Sutterland. A couple of blocks due south from here.

"Lady" Pinocchio interrupted. "We need to see the owner of Universal Exports, we have important information concerning the new leader of his rival company so to speak."

"Young man," the woman returned sternly in a school teacher like manner. "You may call me Miss. Moneypenny if you wish to address me again in the future. Now take your donkey and go to Mr. Sutterland's office with him. While we do sponsor your Scout troop we do not run any scouting activities here.

"Lampwick decided it was time to reveal that he could talk to certain members of MI-6. He remembered that this Miss Moneypenny was one of those members."

"But the kid does have important information about SPECTRE's new leader." Lampwick said.

"And do not try ventriloquism on me either," Moneypenny returned. I'm up to all the tricks boys who are MI-6 orphans like to pull other people to convince them that they are spy material at a young age.

"But there is no ventriloquism involved here." Lampwick returned. "I do actually have the power of speech even though it can only be heard as such by certain people."

"Once Moneypenny realized that the donkey's mouth was actually moving in sinc with the words and no other source of the words being spoken could be determined she started saying, "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!! That thing can really talk can't it!?"

"Yes," Pinocchio returned, "and he has the same information about SPECTRE's new leader that I do."

"And just how do you have this information."

"That one's kind of hard to explain but since my nose will probably grow if I don't, I'll just give you the truth, Miss. Moneypenny." Pinocchio returned. "You see, in the year 1881 what is called SPECTRE island today was called Pleasure Island and it was a cursed amusement park that turned boys into donkeys and encouraged bad behavior on their part in order to speed. It was run by a man named the Coachman who sold the resulting donkeys to various industries needing animal labor. It is this same Coachman who now runs SPECTRE in your world and time. He came to this world and time through something called a "wormhole" as did we.

"I do remember an Italian fairy tale and a Walt Disney movie based on it with that premise in it." Moneypenny returned. "It was called Pinocchio as I remember." It was then that she realized who this familiar looking Boy Scout, grandfatherly man and donkey really were. All of their Disney like features were now painfully obvious."

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!" Moneypenny repeated. "You ARE Pinocchio as a real boy aren't you?"

"Yes, and this is Lampwick, one of my best friends," Pinocchio pointed to the donkey, "And this is Geppetto, my father," then Pinocchio doffed his hat revealing what was hidden underneath, "And this is Jiminy Cricket, my other best friend."

"And hello to you Miss Moneypenny." Jiminy said.

Moneypenny was still in a complete state of shock. What seemed to be simple intruders on the front lawn of "Universal Exports" were literally fairy tale characters come to real life. Indeed this highly unusual and even supposedly impossible occurrence would have to be reported to M. But how, and the problem of impossible people in a "reasonable" and "logical" world was only beginning to manifest itself. What if the Coachman from Pinocchio really was the new leader of the international criminal organization SPECTRE?

If that was true and he still had some method of changing people into donkeys than a threat to all mankind had arisen greater than Auric Goldfinger, Dr. NO, Emelio Largo or even Ernst Stavro Blofeld.

SPECTRE Island, off the Coast of Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

After the changing of SPECTRE operative Number 4 into a donkey the Coachman remained on the throne like chair stroking the white Persian cat gently.

"And now on to new business." the Coachman said. "My associate, Number 2, Mr. Fowlfellow. Claims to have a practical use for my radical DNA revision serum. Would you like to present it Mr. Fowlfellow."

"Well, you see Number 1" Fowlfellow retuned. "I've been looking at the past history of the SPECTRE organization and it isn't direct criminal actions as much as it is threats of criminal actions on a grandiose scale that has made it so successful. It is currently non profitable to turn people into donkeys on a mass scale for sale, your original purpose for doing so except in third world countries that still use large amounts of animal power. However the THREAT of turning people into donkeys on a mass scale, particularly your original target, children would bring big money to us in order to PREVENT its happening."

"Interesting." the Coachman returned while continuing to lavish his attentions on the white Persian cat, the living symbol of the organization he had taken over in his lap as well. "Just how do you expect to get the children and the serum together if we have to actually turn some kids into donkeys to bring the point that we can do it across."

"I've been thinking on that too." Fowlfellow continued. "The Pleasure Island bit and "stupid little boys" is beating a dead horse by now. It failed on this island in 1881 and it failed again in Duckburg in that other world in 1951. Rather than changing "stupid little boys" who play hookey from school and vandalize property that no one cares about into donkeys I'm proposing that we go after the SMART little boys THROUGH their schools and Scout troops. In other words I'm proposing that we threaten to put your DNA donkey juice in the food and drink that goes to every school and Boy Scout Association in meeting place in Europe unless the unless the European governments cough up a payment equivalent to twenty billion Pounds Sterling. This is the sort of thing that SPECTRE has done on several occasions under Blofeld and can do again with your donkey DNA juice.

"I will go ahead and authorize this plan then. Mr. Fowlfellow." The Coachman said, The white Persian cat in his lap was fully contented by his continued stroking and petting. "However remember, you fail, you change from anthropomorphic fox to genuine DONKEY. Now what do you need to carry this plan out."

"I will need another shot of that donkey DNA juice, a video camera and an expendable low level SPECTRE operative."

"You shall have them, meeting adjourned." was the Coachmans final order. "He got himself up from the throne chair and lifted the white Persian cat high above his head for all present to see. Then he brought it down so that its head hung over his shoulder and walked toward the elevator leading back to the surface of SPECTRE Island.

The main office of "Universal Exports, London England, 1971:

M, the middle aged chubby balding man who actually ran "Universal Exports (aka MI-6) actually took the news much better than expected. Hw was onto things like UFOs and other worlds so it turned out that he actually welcomed his guests from the "fairy tale world". He also was amused by how they were able to set themselves up in the "real" world. A call to Mr. Sutterland who ran the Boy Scout Association troop for Orphans of MI-5 and MI-6 agents killed in action showed that a Pinocchio Gepetto was registered with them and on a registration form made of a silky paper that exceeded banknote quality with the most golden gold ink Mr. Sutterland had ever seen. The stuff liked like it could have been made at the depositories in the Bank of England. However the form was perfectly official in its design. Mr. Sutterland was also enthused of this idea of "fairy tales" come to life too once it was confirmed by Pinocchio's Scout registreation form. He two was in the meeting with M, Moneypenny and Geppetto, Pinocchio, Lampwick and Juminy. He actually felt gratitude that Lampwick could talk to him in human speech and therefore he too was in the loop of whatever case or assignment brought these "fairy tale" people into the "real" world. Mr. Sutterland was the type of Scoutmaster any boy would have wanted in that position. He was a tall slender athletic man about thirty years of age who pretty much followed Robert Baden Powell's original plan and let the troop's patrols pretty much run themselves with only the absolute amount of interference needed to assure their safety in most activities.

"I see Pinocchio, has not been assigned a patrol as yet." Mr. Sutterland announced. "I would like him to come to our next meeting and get that matter settled."

"Not yet," M returned. "All of these people have important information about the SPECTRE leader that replaced Ernst Stavro Blofeld after his death. It seems that he is one of these "fairy tale" people too, the Coachman of Pleasure Island. I believe that we have to assign our best agent in dealing with weird and unusual assignments to this one. Moneypenny, have James Bond stop whatever he is doing and come to the office at once."

"With pleasure." Moneypenny returned very pleased with the idea that James would have to handle all his potential co workers in the coming assignment in a strictly G rated way for once.

James Bond's flat, London England, 1971:

The day so far was a typical one for James Bond, agent 007 when he was not on assignment. Even though he was approaching early middle age he still had the tall athletic body, rugged but still handsome facial features and the reputation of an agent "licensed to kill" that attracted women to him. His usual "date" for non assignment time was a low MI-6 operative and James was waiting for her when the phone rang.

"This is Miss Moneypenny." the voice on the phone said. "You have an assignment and you must come to the office right away. It concerns the new SPECTRE leader, we have eyewitnesses as to his identity and it makes for a most unusual assignment, right up your ally, James."

James was never one to turn down an assignment that involved SPECTRE. He was still angered by the organization who's leader had murdered his wife of one day even though that leader was now dead. He practically dashed out of his flat and into the elevator and once the elevator reached the basement garage level dashed out of it to the silver Aston Martin that was still his assigned car for MI-6 service.

**Next - James Bond gets the shock of his life when he sees that his co workers are going to be a Boy Scout who claims he used to be a puppet, a talking donkey, an old man and a talking cricket rather than a beautiful "Bond Girl", Geppetto meets Q and the two find they have a lot in common, especially pride in their work. The Prime Minister sends MI-6 a disturbing extortion video that was sent to him from SPECTRE.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Gepetto meets Q

James started his usual routine of flipping his fedora hat onto the hat rack in Miss. Moneypenny's part of the office.

"Sorry but no time for usual repartee this time around." Moneypenny returned. You are to go right in.

James went directly to door leading to the main part of the office. There he say M in the company of a donkey, a boy scout and an old man in 19th century Tuscan/Italian clothing.

"Now just what is this about?" you said that you have important Information on the new SPECTRE leader but all I see is a kid, a farm animal and an old man in obsolete clothing.

"That's the unusual part of all this." M returned. "007, meet Pinocchio, Gepetto, Mr. Geppetto and Lampwick from 19th century Tuscany."

"No I know that you are into UFOs and stuff." James returned. "But why bring me here and tell me that these people supposedly with info about SPECTRE are living characters out of some 19th century Italian fairy tale."

"Probably because the new leader of the SPECTRE bunch is one two." a sing songy voice came from under Pinocchio's hat."

"Now, I get it." James returned "Q probably has some type of voice thrower microphone hidden under that scout hat and this is some big gag of his."

James Bond's view of M's three guests changed when he saw not a microphone under the hat but a rather large clothed anthropomorphic cricket. James was a logical man like all 00 agents had to be but the only logical conclusion to seeing the cricket was were real life characters from the aftermath of the story of Pinocchio when the puppet was made a real boy. James Bond was not only in the presence of time travelers, but time travelers from an earth time line where the story of Pinocchio was true and not a fairy tale.

"James", M said. "Your assignment is to protect these timeline travelers while they are here for now. It may change when the new SPECTRE leader makes his move."

"But there is no way that donkey can ride in the Aston Martin, even if he was once a human boy which I'm beginning to suspect is true. That car is simply too small inside to accommodate that type of an animal. James returned.

"You will be staying with Q at has manor house while these time travelers are here. We would not want Ponocchio to be exposed to any of the R rated extra curricular activities that tend to go on in your apartment with miss Goodnight, would we. M said.

Moneypenny who was always listening to goings on between M and James over the office intercom system took that tome to enter the room. "Yes, James" she said. "For once you are going to have to carry out an assignment at a strict G rated level." she continued with a very satisfied look on her face.

SPECTRE Island, off the coast of Tuscany, Italy 1971:

John Worthington Fowlfellow was perusing the new SPECTRE operatives in the island's training area. He was accompanied by Gideon and one of the black uniformed SPECTRE guards. They had already passed through the martial arts and live ammunition training areas and sever rather vicious obstacle courses loaded with poisonous snakes, scorpions and piranha fish. Fowlfellow was not too crazy about the SPECTRE guards however. Even though they were fully human there was a lot of the feelings Fowlfellow had for the old shadowy Pleasure Island minions in their robotic goose stepping ways. What was even more disappointing however was the excellent shape of the operatives engaged in the training. Of course that was because the training was designed that only the strong would survive the hazards deliberately implanted in it. The SPECTRE Island training regimen was designed strictly around the organization's homicidal hatred of failure and its view that only the strongest should survive. Needless to say there was little pleasure on the Coachman's island in 1971, even of the kind that used to turn boys into donkeys under the influence of the red star.

Fowlfellow's eyes then focused on a failing martial arts trainee. Standard procedure said that he had to remain in his assigned fight until killed by the successful fighter but Fowlfellow had other plans for him. Fowlfellow was carrying a sandwich in his hands and Gideon was carrying a video camera.

"That one." Fowlfellow said to the SPECTRE guard pointing at the loser in the martial arts match.

"But the rules say that he must pay the penalty of failure," the SPECTRE guard returned. "He has lost every fight he has been during martial arts training."

"Don't worry," Fowlfellow said. "I'm holding the penalty for his failure and part of SPECTRE's next grand scheme right here." Fowlfellow then displayed the sandwich.

"You must have Amanita phalloides mushrooms in that thing then." The SPECTRE guard returned. He then went to the martial arts training area and stopped the fight.

"Why did you stop the fight??!!!" the trainee asked. "We must all be ready to accept the penalty of failure. That fight should have continued until my death."

"We'll I'm pretty high up in SPECTRE now." Fowlfellow returned, "And I have decided to modify things a little in your case. But first have a little snack." Fowlfellow gave the sandwich to the failing trainee. Go ahead and eat it. It will be far easier for you to take your to take your punishment this way than being pummeled to death in another losing martial arts fight.

The trainee probably expected to be poisoned by the sandwich and die and was shocked to see that was not what happened. He was even more shocked at what did actually happened. "It started with his "Thank you" attempt coming out HE HAW!! Instead. Then his ears started growing tall and hairy. He could also feel himself growing a tail and the digits of both his hands and feet fusing into hooves. His head was also growing a donkey's muzzle as he grew out of his cloths and had to take on the quadropedal stance of a fully developed donkey.

"Did you get the picture show kitty?" Fowlfellow asked.

Gideon just nodded excitedly.

"Good then we can add this sequence to the other stuff I had videotaped today and we can present a videocassette of the whole shebang to the presidents and prime ministers of all the nations of Europe.

Fowlfellow's next instructions were to the SPECTRE guard. "He has paid his penalty for failure. You can sell him to the embassy of some third world country that still uses a lot of animal power if you wish. I'm leaving it entirely up to you.

Q's manor house, Outside London, England, 1971:

The manor house sat well concealed in between several hedgerows and already had an animal corral attached to it where Lampwick would be safe with several pure bred horses that the house's owner kept as a hobby. The owner simply known as Q was a man of late middle age that seemed to always be dressed in a white coat and always seemed to be working on new and improved spy gadgets when not tending or riding his horses. Of all the people he met so far in this new world Geppetto felt that Q was the one he could identify the closest with. Both men were about the same age and both were dedicated to their work. Like most of the people of this timeline who first met them Q could not beleive that James Bond's charges were the actually Pinocchio characters come to life from another timeline. This time it took the inadvertent hearing of Lampwick's admiration of the horses that he was corralled with to get the point across to Q that lamp wick was once human and indeed a genuine living Pinocchio character.

Q was outside the house working on "little nellie" when James bond showed up with a van rather than the Aston Martin. His goal this time was to rebuild and convert "little nellie" from an autogiro to a full fledged helicopter using over under tandom roters. The job was almost finished when the van arrived with James Bond, Gepetto, Lampwick, Pinocchio and Jiminy.

Needless to say since his business was nineteenth century clockwork machinery and woodcarving Gepetto jumped at a chance for a closer inspection of "little nellie" which reminded him so much of that type of machinery.

"Please don't touch that??!!!" Q shouted at Gepetto. "That is a one of a kind piece of work as is all of the equipment I make for all MI-6 missions."

"But what does it do that is so important that it needs to be a one of a kind device?" Geppetto asked.

"Sometimes James or some other agent need a one man flying machine for their missions." Q returned.

Other than saying that is what this machine is a am not authorized do tell you anything more about it.

"Well whatever it does I've got to say that it is a good piece of craftsmanship." Geppetto returned, regarding "little Nellie". "I'm somewhat of a gadget maker too where I come from, but nothing like this.

Let me show you an example of my work since you were so kind as to show me yours."

Geppetto finally opened a carpet bag he had brought from his original 1881 world when all this time line surfing by the way of the Blue Fairy and the Wishing Star began. Inside in addition to several changes of clothes were several pieces of his woodcarving and mechanical skill. The one he took out was a music box with two animated dolls that would engage in a waltz when the little machine was wound up and activated.

Q watched the intricacies of little wooden dancers and listened to the Tyrolean style music the box played in awe of its creator. Gepetto was certainly more than the simple woodcarver that most versions of his story in fairy tales made him out to be. If MI-6 had existed in the nineteenth century he might well had been the Q of that time.

Both men looked at each other in admiration. Geppetto and Q realized that they were two of a kind. Both extremely creative and protectively proud of the "gadgets" that came from their hands.

Suddenly an alarm started ringing from within the house. This met one thing, an emergency situation had arisen that required all involved to report back to M's office. It was a special alarm that meant that all 00 and Q personnel had to report

"My guess is that this probably involves you too." James said to Pinocchio, Lampwick, Geppetto and Jiminy. "You are coming with us. And Geppetto, leave that carpet bag here. I suspect we will be needing Q's modern gadgets, not dancing music boxes for this."

M's office, London, England, 1971:

All the 00 and Q personell were in the office with the British Prime Minister who had a video cassette in his hand. Geppetto, Pinocchio (with Jiminy under his scout hat), and Lampwick were present as well. In front of M's great oak desk was a projection TV screen. "All of the government heads of Europe received a video cassette similar to this one in a box marked SPECTRE at one o-clock this afternoon." The Prime Minister announced as he placed the cassette in the projection TV machine.

Suddenly a very familiar figure showed up on the screen. Even though this person wore clothes stood upright and had human hands it looked like a fox. It was John Worthington Fowlfellow. In his hands he held a white Persian cat, the living symbol of SPECTRE.

To the heads of the governments of Europe. The scene you are about to see occurred at around noon today:

What followed was the footage that Gideon took of the of the failed SPECTRE trainee turning into a donkey after eating the sandwich Fowlfellow offered him.

Fowlfellow than continued SPECTRE's message:

If we are not paid the sum of twenty billion pounds sterling by in at one o'clock in the afternoon two weeks from now the same "species reassignment serum" will be placed in the food and water supplies of all the schools and Boy Scout associations of Europe."

Fowlfellow was then replaced by the Coachman himself also with a white Persian cat.

"In our pre SPECTRE criminal activities we went after the "stupid little boys" that no one seemed to care about. With SPECTRE we will be going after the SMART Little boys that are ultimately the future of all your nations and turn THEM into donkeys instead of the stupid ones that play hookey from school if our demand of twenty billion pounds is not met.

Fowlfellow then returned to the screen:

"You have already seen an example of just how low the new SPECTRE leadership will stoop," he then addressed his white Persian cat, "huh kitty. Remember twenty billion pounds sterling by one o'clock two weeks from now or your SMART little boys start turning onto DONKEYS."

The tape ended.

"Now you will all file into Moneypenny's office to receive your specific assignments." M said. "Since we know that living Pinocchio characters are now in our world, in fact we have four of them with us in this room that this donkey threat is for real too."

Each of the 00 agents went into Moneypenny's office to receive their assignments. The Q men including Q himself returned to the laboratories of "Universal Exports" to begin making the gadgets each agent would need for his particular assignment.

Next - Pinocchio suggests to M that That James Bond be assigned to the Village of Collodi in Tuscany Italy. Pinocchio takes his first flying machine ride to what used to be his home village. "Little Nellie" is used for the first look at SPECTRE island with some helicopter to helicopter James Bond action.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Assignment, Collodi

Moneypenny's office, London England, 1971:

The agents received the folders with the information about contacts and other aspects of their assigned stations in them. Everyone knew that it would only be two weeks before the intelligent boys of Europe started turning into donkeys so there were generally no complaints about the assignments, even if they might mot be to the most desirable locations in the world all of them were in towns close to known SPECTRE bases, either still in use or abandoned.

James Bond was very pleased to pull Nassau again. This meant that he could have a pleasant visit with one

Of more well known "Bond girls" Domino, from the Thunderball mission and be able to enjoy the casinos and pleasant climate of the Caribbean.

"I know that you probably see me as too young and from to primitive a time and place for suggesting an assignment change." Pinocchio broke in upon seeing James Bond's Nassau assignment. "But I think James would be better assigned to my old home town of Collodi in Italy."

"I know you are probably homesick." James returned. "But you have to remember that Collodi is not the same as it was in 1881. It is a fairly modern small European town now."

"This requested assignment change has nothing to do with homesickness." Pinocchio said. "It has everything to do with what I know about SPECTRE's new leader." Do you have a map of the Tuscany Province of Italy?"

"Yes," Moneypenny said going to get the requested map out of the files by her desk.

Once it was on her desk Pinocchio immediately pointed to an Island off the Coast of Tuscany in the vicinity of Collodi. "You see this Island that you mark as a SPECTRE headquarters." Pinocchio said. "Well I spent a lot of my time here reading the various versions of my story and found that Island to be called the Land of All Play and No Work and Lazy Land in various versions and the Land of Toys in the oldest version.

However the Disney / Golden Book version was the one that had the truth about the name of that place, Pleasure Island. It was the place where the man who is now the leader of SPECTRE once turned boys into donkeys using magic mixed with their own bad behavior to bring about the transformation. I believe he might be using the same island again as the headquarters for this latest donkey plot of his. That's why the request that James's assignment be changed to Collodi."

"Well, I have to admit that is logical as far as logic can apply in a case like this one at least." M returned. "Ok, James, you are being re assigned to the town of Collodi in the Province of Tuscany, Italy." M gave the folder for Collodi to James. "Remember James, you have exactly two weeks to find this DNA shifting serum SPECTRE is using to change people into donkeys and destroy it or otherwise put it out of action.

Q - laboratory, London, England , 1971:

Since Geppetto and Pinocchio were now in the loop so to speak they were allowed to follow James Bond into the Q - Laboratory where the man with that initial worked with other Q or quartermaster personel worked. This was a fascinating world of gadgets for him but he was careful not to touch anything when he saw that the gadgets often hid lethal weapons. Amongst the things that were assigned to James was a luxury van that could accommodate Lampwick's donkey form that was parked in the center of the lab.

"Now even though this is a luxury van and not the sports car that you are used to 007" Q said. "It has all the usual refinements, smoke screen, oil slick, front and rear mounted stinger missiles, front and rear mounted machine guns, front passenger ejector seat and the rotating license plate valid in all European nations. It is also large enough to accommodate Lampwick in his current form and "little nellie" in its disassembled form in its rear storage area. Now remember, "little Nellie" is a real helicopter now using the over, under tandem rotor system so that it could continue to use its original autogiro body. This van and Lampwick will be shipped to the "Universal Exports" offices in Florence, the closest major city to Collodi."

"Now for your personal equipment." Q continued. The little group was directed to the table in the lab containing the equipment and Q picked up what appeared to be a thermos bottle. "This bomb is designed to be non lethal to humans but it will neutralize all known products of radical genetic engineering. This is what you will use on SPECTRE's donkey serum if you should ever find it."

"But wouldn't this affect Pinocchio?" James asked. "I would say that he is a pretty radical prodict of genetic engineering, from wood to human flesh."

"Probably not James," Q said in his usual sarcastic manner when questioned about one of his gadgets. "When I said that I meant known scientific products of radical genetic engineering, not fairy magic. Now if the product in question were to turn Pinocchio into a donkey this might restore his humanity but it would NOT restore his puppet hood if he were exposed to it now."

"Now we will go onto the next item." Q stopped at a wrist watch and presented it with particular pride. Some of Q's favorite gadgets used wrist watches as a base. "Looks like an ordinary wrist watch right, wrong. This is a unique combination of television and telescope. You lift up the antenna that looks like the winding knob for the watch and point it in any direction and you will be able to see up to a mile on the television screen in the watch proper. It also includes a two way radio. I will be issuing three of these for your mission. One for you, James one for Pinocchio and one for Geppetto. I will also be including a fourth

televisionscope of regular portable TV size for use in your hotel room in Collodi. Well that's just about it.

With their equipment in hand James, Pinocchio, Geppetto and Jiminy left the lab and eventually "Universal Exports" itself by one of its various hidden back ways. Their next stop would be a British Airways 747 that would take them to Florence, Italy where they would get Lampwick and the van that would take them to Collodi.

British Airways, flight 23 for Florence, Italy, 1971:

At first Pinocchio was afraid of the great flying machine. It seemed to have the look of Monstro about it with its whale like fuselage, huge wings and apparently fluked tail. However when he saw that other people were entering the machine through a door in the side and not a mouth his fear waned and he followed the rest of the passengers up the stairway and into the aircraft. For this phase of the trip he would have to keep Jiminy in Geppetto's carpet bag because common courtesy required that he remove his Scout hat during the flight. Jiminy had to be very careful to keep quiet too. The Best policy was that the less people knew that living Pinocchio characters in a spy mission on the plane the better.

The first part of the flight reminded Pinnochio pretty much of his ride with the Coachman on his first trip to Pleasure Island back in 1881. Then suddenly the Pinocchio found himself and the rest of the aircraft was at a 45 degree angle.

"What's going on!" Pinocchio said.

"We are starting our flight." James returned. "Things will get back to normal when we reach cruising altitude."

Pinocchio started feeling sorry for Lampwick knowing that he was either in the back of the van or an animal shipping crate on another aircraft like this one was doing this same 45 degree angle thing. He had the seat near the window and looked out. There was already nothing but blue sky and clouds around the plane now.

"This thing is really flying" Pinocchio said with as quietly as he could in his excitement.

"I know that you have nothing like this in the 19th century." James said, "But it is common place here. And it is fast too. It took you days to get from London to Florence in your day but it will just take a few hours now.

"Universal Exports", Florence, Italy: 1971:

Once Pinocchio and Geppetto were familiar what was going on with the aircraft the landing did not seem as frightening as the takeoff was. When they left the plane they found themselves in a modern but still rather familiar setting. Geppetto had been to Florence a couple of times in his life before he carved Pinocchio and most of the older buildings and catholic churches were places he remembered. "Universal Exports" in Florence Italy used one of those buildings that Geppetto once knew as the Cedar Tree Inn in his own time.

Parked in front of the building was the van that Q had assigned the group. Pinocchio immediately ran for the van.

"Don't touch any of the controls you see in there." James warned. "You don't know what you might touch off in there."

"I just want to see if Lampwick is all right." Pinocchio returned.

"Lampwick is probably not even in there now." James said. "They probably shipped him in a separate crate. Let's go inside and see."

"Universal Exports" had a more easy going Italian way about it in Florence than it did in London. The equivalent of Miss. Moneypenny in this office was a very beautiful Italian woman with a very familiar name with Pinocchio, Luisia Pietta. The same last name as his teacher in the old one room schoolhouse in Collodi.

"This boy is very concerned about the donkey that came with my van." James said. "Exactly where is he."

"The donkey is out back in the training yard." Miss Pietta told Pinocchio. "And I see you are a Scout in England. My guess is that donkey is a part of a some kind of Scout project of yours. Well you can go into the back yard training area and continue with your little project while we adults continue with ours."

"I'm going out back with my son," Geppetto said.

"Well it seems that this mission is not going to be a total loss after all." James said as soon as Pinocchio and Gepetto were out of sight eyeing Miss Pietta.

"Sorry," Miss Pietta returned. "But I don't date babysitters of Boy Scouts and donkeys."

"And just what is wrong with Boy Scouts and donkeys." James returned. "I was a Scout when I was a kid. And I'll have you know donkeys are still very practical animals for assignments in the rural regions of third world countries."

Miss Pietta simply shrugged off those two particular subjects altogether with no further comment. "Here is the keys to the van and as usual Q expects you to bring it back in one piece this time."

James took the keys and went down the hall toward the back yard training area. As soon as he was out of site Miss Pietta opened her purse and took out what looked like a makeup compact. "Number 10," Miss Pietta said. "James Bond agent 007 has come here and is accompanied by the persons and animal that Number 1 and Number 2 expected that he would be accompanied by. Prepare the usual reception for them, and remember the penalty of failure."

"Roger number 8" a voice came through the "compact". "Reception on the way. And next time don't call me form you adversaries' offices. You know the time we had inserting you in there ever since MI-6 realized that SPECTRE was alive again despite the death of Blofeld."

Back Training Yard, "Universal Exports" Florence, Italy, 1971:

The best friendw were glad to see each other despite their different forms. However there was an element of fear in Lampwick's expression. It was not the panic he expressed when first becoming a donkey. It was something else.

"Mr. Bond or somebody should keep an eye on that Miss Pietta." Lampwick said. "Something about her gives me the creeps, the Coachman level creeps."

"It is a sure thing that she does not like kids and large livestock animals." James returned. "But we will not be having to deal with her for the rest of this trip."

"Than, it's into the van and on to Collodi." Lampwick said. "It will be good to see familiar sites again, even as a donkey."

After placing Lampwick in his rear compartment of the van. James assigned front seating away from any possible dangerous controls or the passenger ejector seat for Pinocchio and Gepetto and turned the key starting the van's engine. The little group was on their way to Collodi.

Red Lobster Inn, Collodi, Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

Modern Collodi was a much larger town than Pinocchio or Geppetto remembered it. However it still had some familiar sites. One of these was the infamous Red Lobster Inn. The other one was what used to be Pleasure Island still looking like a dark castle out in the ocean and in all probability still playing that roll in a different way today. Most of the houses and hotels were still built in the quaint Tyrolean / Tuscan way.

For his hotel Bond chose the Inn part of the Red Lobster because he knew that even in this day it was a hangout for crooks and spies.

"You two check us in." James said to Pinocchio and Geppetto, "You are more familiar with this town and its customs than I am. In the neantime I'm going to assemble "little Nellie" and try to get a first hand eyefull of the current goings on on that "Pleasure Island" of yours."

"Wouldn't it be safer to use that televisionscope thing that Q gave us to do that." Pinocchio asked.

"Safer but not as accurate," Bond returned. "The island seams to be surrounded by large rocks except for a pair of oak doors that directly face us. The only way to see inside that fortress of rocks is to see it from above."

With that James pulled "little Nellie" out of the van and assembled its rotors. When it was an autogiro there had to be a second man to turn the engine over by setting and turning the propeller as a helicopter the engine came to life immediately when James pushed the electric starter. The rotors one above the other rotating in opposite directions cancelled out all engine torque making this type of helecopter amongst the easiest of the type to fly. Within about ten minutes the interior of SPECTRE Island was in site. From the air there was nothing unusual about it. Its interior was dominated by a mansion at its rearmost part exactly opposite the oak doors that were the port entrance to the interior. Most of the rest of it consisted of various training fields and obstacle courses except for a dome shaped building at the very center of the island's surface.

It was then that "little Nellie" sounded its warning claxon that there were other aircraft in the area with hostile intent. James saw the three Jet Ranger helecopters immediately. All of them were colored pure black with the faces of white Persian cats on their sides and armed to the hilt with rockets and machineguns just like "little Nellie". The funny thing was that they seemed to ignore him. They were instead headed for the mainland, they were headed for Collodi, they Were headed for the hotel portion of the Red Lobster, they were headed for Pinocchio, Geppetto and Lampwick. Lampwick was right. Miss Pietta was Coachman level creepy, she was working for SPECTRE.

With a child involved in all of this James was hoping that he would not have to use his "license" in this case but there was no choice it was either the three Jet Rangers or the child he was assigned to protect. Then he changed his mind, maybe just this once there was another way. Maybe he could have the Jet Rangers disarm themselves on him and then move Pinocchio Geppetto and Lampwick to another safe house unknown to Miss Pietta before the Jet Rangers could land and re load themselves. James piloted "little Nellie" into a challenging position and drew Jet Ranger machinegun and fired a few of his own rockets so as to come close but deliberately miss. The smaller "little Nellie" easily evaded the Jet Rangers' fire and with James at its controls. James then fired another "close but no cigar" rocket to keep the Jet Rangers in a defensive battle with him. Then they responded with rockets which James easily evaded. James was able to keep the Jet Rangers in a defensive mode battling him until they ran out of munitions of any kind. They had to go back to the island and reload. Once the battle was over he headed little Nellie back to the red lobster.

A little farmhouse outside Collodi, Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

James Bond's second safe house choice was made without any contact with "Universal Exports" in Florence now that he know that office was compromised. He rented the small four room farmhouse out of his own pocket using some of the contingency funds provided by the London office. Anyway this was a more appropriate place for Lampwick who also had a "room" of his own in the form of a small corral with a roofed section for protection against bad weather and a n open section where the good could be enjoyed that was a part of the houses back yard. However the attempted Jet Ranger attack on his charges made him think. James Bond, agent 007, licensed to KILL did not have to use his "license" this time around. However he knew that even though there was a child involved with the case he also knew that SPECTRE was involved too. With them involved there may well be a time he would have to use his "license" because that was the true nature of the beast behind the white Persian cat.

**Next - Miss Pietta tells it all when James returns to Florence. Pinocchio and Geppetto face a SPECTRE motorcycle attack. Plans are again made against what used to be Pleasure Island.**

**Note - I know that readers out there who are specifically James Bond fans probably expected the helicopter battle to be to the death like they were in the movies. However part of the premise of this particular story deals with James Bond having to compromise at least some of his PG-13 to R rated ways when the G rated world of Pinocchio comes into his life. Therefore I made the SPECTRE helicopter battle here more of a Monstro the Whale clever escape type event rather than a typical James Bond fight to the death event.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Preliminary Planning

A little farmhouse outside Collodi, Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

The helicopter attack over SPECTRE Island pointed more than ever to the idea that the Coachman was again to be located there and his latest scheme to turn people into donkeys was hatched there. Knowing this James would again take unprecedented measures for him. He would conduct the arrest of Miss. Pietta himself and have her brought to the new safe house. There he would get her to confess her SPECTRE involvement. However this time it would not be lovemaking he would use as the device to get that confession because there were children involved deeply in the case. For this case James figured that Lampwick may just be an acceptable substitute for his usual actions. Miss. Pietta seemed to have a hatred bordering on fear of the donkey, perhaps because she knew the donkey was once a person and perhaps because she had even seen one of the Coachman's person to donkey transformations take place. Perhaps the same way the appearance of a snake loosens an ophidophobe's tongue the display of Lampwick would loosen Miss. Pietta's tongue without having to resort to more "adult" measures. James waited until Pinocchio and Geppetto were in bed and sound asleep and left the safe house.

"Universal Exports", Florence, Italy: 1971:

James entered the van on the driver's side and started the engine and in a few seconds was on his way to Florence. He parked the van as closely to the "Universal Exports" office as possible and entered the facility with his Walther PPK drawn as not being in the immediate vicinity of the "fairy tale" characters allowd James to act a little more like himself. There sitting at her desk was Miss Pietta. "You are coming with me."

James said returning to his more stone cold agent way of talking.

"Am I to assume that I'm your "date" for tonight." Miss Pietta said

"No, way!" James returned. "I would not have traitors."

"So you know." Miss Pietta returned.

"That you work for SPECTRE." James returned. "Lets just say three Jet Ranger Helicopters on their way to kill Gepetto, Pinocchio and Lampwick ratted you out."

"But they make a donkey out of me if I accompany you!" Miss Pietta pleaded. "That DNA altering serum Number 1 has works on women and girls as well as men and boys!"

James responded by pointing the Walther directly at Miss. Pietta. "And I will kill you if you don't."

"Please!" Miss Pietta continued "I don't want to be a donkey!!"

James responded by racking the slide on the Walther. "Make your choice." was James's only verbal response.

Miss. Pietta then knew that the only thing to do for now was to surrender to James. She accompanied James to the van where she was placed in the front passenger seat. "And don't think of trying anything stupid. That is a passenger ejector seat capable of driving anyone who tries to pull a weapon or otherwise distract me fifty feet into the air. I can guarantee you that coming down from fifty feet without a parachute would be just as "uncomfortable" as a bullet from the PPK." James then took the driver's seat of the van for the return to the safe house outside Collodi.

A little farmhouse outside Collodi, Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

It was around the crack of dawn when James got back to the safe house. Gepetto and Pinocchio were already up by then. Pinocchio was tending to Lampwicks needs while Gepetto was in the house doing woodcarving for an incomplete music box that was in his carpet bag. The various springs, gear motors, wheels and levers were complete and assembled but the wooden parts of the music box were not yet carved out.

James did not go into the house but took Miss. Pietta directly to the back yard of the house. There he saw Pinocchio exercising Lampwick outside the corral.

"Ponoke" James said. "I need to borrow Lampwick for a while. And please go inside with your father. What is about to go on is an adult matter I don't want you involved with."

Pinocchio handed the exercise reigns to James. "Be really careful with him, you know he is really just a boy like me." Pinocchio returned.

"I will," James returned. "Now get back inside with your father!"

Pinocchio knew by James's stern tone of voice that whatever was going to happen involving James, Lampwick and Miss. Pietta was something he did not want to be involved with. He obeyed and went into the house.

Once he was sure that Pinocchio was out of seeing and hearing range of his next actions James led Lampwick to a position where Mis Pietta was sure to get an eyeful of the donkey / boy.

"Now we will discuss a method We can get onto SPECTRE Island without getting shot by Numnber 1's or should I say the Coachman's Jet Ranger Helicopters." James said.

"You get that thing away from me!!" Miss. Pietta returned.

"Talk, and I will take him away." James said. "Or don't talk and look at your future." James pointed at Lampwick. "You know that the Coachman, your Number 12 put him into this condition and you know that this can happen to you too." James again pointed at Lampwick.

"The doors," Miss. Pietta finally broke down and said.

"What doors." James returned.

"The doors to the old amusement park that used to be on SPECTRE Island." Miss Pietta said. "They are no longer used because operatives go to and from the island by helicopter now. The area of the doors and the old carnival midway is mostly overgrown and not used now. The doors are frozen in a semi opened position. You can gain entrance there but not very safely. The overgrowth hides deadly vipers and deathstalker scorpions, and of course the food supply of such creatures which can also be dangerous in its own right."

"You know that one of the reasons we have Pinocchio here is to confirm what you are telling me about the structures and fortifications of that Island because in his own time line he was on that island when it was an amusement park." James said. "And I think he's telling the truth because his nose grows when he doesn't. You had better be telling me the truth or I'll just throw you back to the Goachman and your nose will growe too, just like that one." James pointed at Lampwick's head again."

James put Lampwick back in the Corral and then returned to Miss. Pietta. "Now it is your turn to get into that house." he said.

Miss Pietta walked ahead of James into the house. In its main room Gepetto and Pinocchio were working together on the music box.

"I seer you're back James," Pinocchio said. "finish your adult conversation with Miss. Pietta?"

"Yes, and now I need a few confirmations from you which is one of the main reasons you were brought on this mission." James returned. "You really were on that very same island in another timeline in the 19th century when it was an ammusement park, weren't you."

"Yes," Pinocchio returned.

"Now Miss. Pietta told me that there is a set of doors that open to the interior of the Island." James said.

"Yes, the port of Pleasure Island." Pinocchio returned. "You see James, in the 19th century we didn't have flying machines so the Coachman had to take us to Pleasure Island by steam boat. Therefore the Island had a causeway port at an entrance with great oak doors that would lock from the outside and keep the boys in until they were changed to donkeys. These might be the doors that Miss. Pietta referred to."

"Then we have one more confirmation to make." James said. "I want to get another look at that island again. This time from sea level. We will be bringing the televisionscope with us this time. Because I want to do this at a safe distance from the Island.

James picked up the Q created device which actually looked like a small portable television set from the table on which it sat and made for the van once again leaving Pinocchio, Lampwick and Geppetto alone.

As insects, even anthropomorphic ones tended to be more sensitive to vibrations than humans Jiminy, still ticked away in his matchbox bet was the first to hear the new danger. It was a steady vibrations like what might come from engines smaller than those on a car but larger than those on a lawnmower. Gepetto soon saw the source of the vibrations From the window. They came from three two wheeled vehicles that the riders rode on rather than in.

"What's making all that racket out there." Jiminy said.

"Some kind of two wheeled riding machines." Gepetto returned. They are all black and have the face of a white cat panted on their sides."

"White cat!!" Jiminy shouted. "Isn't that creep who turns boys into donkeys carrying a white cat around these days."

"Suddenly a sound lake a series of explosions strung together rattled the early morning air followed by a string of bullet holes in the wall of the house containing its entrance door.

"DUCK!!" Jiminy shouted.

Both Pinocchio and Geppetto made for the floor as fast as they could. The only exposure either one of them had to firearms before was the revolver used to shoot down the minion dragon conjured by Magica De Spell in Duckburg and Geppetto's own percussion cap blunderbuss. And right now that firearm was in his carpet bag but what good was the old black powder single shooter against these future weapons that could spary bullets like water. However that old blunderbuss pistol was all that Geppetto had to defend Pinocchio, Lampwick and Jiminy from the new threat. He crept up to the carpet bag and got the pistol together with the lead balls and black powder and precussion caps it used out of his carpet bag. Just as he got them another of those rapid multi shot blasts came into the house with the bullets going through one wall and lodging in another.

Gepetto loaded his own antique with black powder and nine balls that the flared barrel would disperse like a shotgun blast. He set the hammer at half cock and put a percussion cap on the nipple. He aimed the gun at the vehicle that was the closest to the house and the obvious source of the new type of gunfire set the blunderbuss pistol to full cock and let his own load go. The blast disabled the entire front wheel and weapons system of the machine but only made a few grazing wounds on the rider who left the area in a rather great hurry not wanting to fool around any further with whatever weapon had the capability of disabling the latest in SPECTRE attack motorcycle technology. Bu the time that rider left Gepetto had another load ready to go in the blunderbuss handgun which he fired into the front wheel of the second machine disabling it as well. Its rider hitched a ride on the third machine which departed the area intact. The second lives of Pinocchio, Geppetto and Lampwick was stopped by an antique firearm that was indeed even an antique when Geppetto inherited it from his own father.

Shortly after the attack by the SPECTRE motorcycles James returned with the van. He saw the two SPECTRE motorcycles and wondered what could have possibly happened. His first view of the situation was that MI-6 found out about the treason in their Florence office and decided to take matters into their own hands with a new and devastating weapon of some kind. However he soon had to revise his view when he saw Geppetto standing amongst the ruins of the second motorcycle with an antique blunderbuss handgun in his hand.

"You took on mobile full automatic weapons with that thing." James said in wonder of the old man with the antique handgun who took on SPECTRE and won.

"Yes," Geppetto said. "I usually keep this under my pillow to scare away burglars who try to take my work without paying for it but decided to keep it hidden in the carpet bag figuring I wouldn't need it because I assume you had a handgun of some kind. But my little Pinocchio was in danger from these machines so I had to bring it out and use it against them."

"You are truly an amazing man Geppetto, Now I can see what Q sees in you taking on SPECTRE with a muzzle loading antique and winning against them." James said.

"Now I've got some very interesting televisionscope scans I would like you, Pinocchio and Jiminy to see. James took the device out of the van and the two men returned into the house. From there James summoned everybody to the main room. For the First time even Lampwick the donkey was allowed into the house to the extreme discomfort of Miss Pietta who was still being held there pending transfer to a more official detention facility."

James turned on the device and adjusted it to its highest clarity. On it was a picture of the what Pinocchio and Lampwick both remembered as the port of pleasure island now in a time worn condition. The causeway was now just a pile of rocks that extended out from the island and the doors were extensively termite holed and frozen in a slightly opened position. The outside locks were long rusted off.

"This will be our way into SPECTRE's roost," James announced. "Now I know that some of you are minors and shouldn't be involved in things like this but I also feel you were all brought here for a reason involving this case. Therefore I have a mission for each of you."

"First you, Pinocchio." James said. "Since you never turned fully into a donkey you would probably know the layout of that island better than anybody here. Your job will be to find the old midway roads of the old ammusement park as they will probably be the safest way into the island's interior. Lampwick, your job will be to use your hooves to take down any snakes, scorpions or other unpleasant creatures we might meet so that I can save ammunition for the MOST dangerous creatures in that island. Jiminy as being a "bug" already will be the equivalent of out listening device. You are to get into the SPECTRE mansion on that island and report to us everything that is going on there. And finally you Gepetto, I'm having Q come over here tomorrow and I want you to aid him in the creation of a clockwork engine for our transportation over to that island. I don't want to be using a noisy device like an internal combustion engine or an electric motor for this trip. If all goes well we stop SPECTRE tomorrow."

**Next - To SPECTRE Island**

**Note - I'm sort of a gun buff with an interest mainly in 18th and 19th century firearms and always wanted to do a story with the premise that the old antiques could still beat modern automatic weapons if surprise was a part of their use and therefore made that the theme of the motorcycle battle in this chapter. The blunderbuss handgun Geppetto used in this chapter was the same one he had in the early scenes of the movie when Pinocchio first came to life as a puppet.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - The End of SPECTRE Island.

The old mainland port to SPECTRE Island, Tuscany, Italy, 1971

The old port was the one way to SPECTRE Island when it was an amusement park long ago. Now however the single steamboat that once was the only transportation to the island was an old rusted hulk and the port itself a heap of rocks. However this didn't matter to the latest master work of Q and Geppetto combined. It took the form of a submarine in the form of a whale, A shale given it largely because of Geppetto's past experience with Monstro in the waters between Pleasure Island, now SPECTRE Island and the mainland. Bames like the idea of making the sub look like a genuine sea creature because it was a good way to hide its approach to the island.

The sub did not have an internal combustion engine nor did it have an electric motor. Rather it had a magnetically powered clockwork motor with the basic gear, shaft and lever systems created by Geppetto and the powerful magnets that powered it instead of springs designed by Q as was the body of the "whale" however all connections to the "whale" were put in place by Geppeto so it would imitate the functions of a real whale when the clockwork motor was running. The entire machine was named Monstro II after the real whale that once held Geppetto and Pinocchio a prisoner in its gut.

This time however the human, cricket and donkey passengers of Monstro II were not in the "gut" of the machine. They were in a control center in the overhead lump of the sperm whale like machine. The machine was also considerably smaller than the original Monstro. This control center consisted of various keys and levers that made the passengers the "brain" of the machine rather than its "food". Once this small fake Monstro was fully ready and its motor wound by the main key in the control center it was off swimming in a most whale like fashion slightly under water toward the island. A small telescope / antenna led to a large theatre sized version of the televisionscope device inside the control center. On it the Island kept getting larger and larger.

Soon the great doors of the island port could be seen. Even from this distance it could be seen that were heavily cracked and frozen in a half opened position. A virtual jungle of overgrowth could be seen behind them.

"We will be holding this position until evening." James announced. "Then we will invade that island and deal with SPECTRE."

"But evening is usually the Coachman's most active time." Pinocchio said.

"It probably would be if he were still shipping boys to this island and donkeys back." Lanpwick said. "However we know that is not his current plan. His current plan is to ship back some strange goop that turns the boys to donkeys directly on the mainland and spread it all over Europe this time. What we have to do is neutralize the goop and then deal with the Coachman, Fowlfellow and Gideon."

"That's right Lampwick." James returned. "You have the gist of this mission well in hand. I'm going to truse the nutralization part of this to you."

"But how can I set the neutralization bomb off with just hooves?" Lampwick asked.

"When we had Monstro II built I also had the neutralization bomb re designed so that could be carried and armed by means of a donkey's mouth." James returned.

"Thank you, James." Lampwick returned. He seemed to know that this was the mission that would remove the curse of Pleasure Island from him and make him a boy again. At the very least He would be stopping the

The very last method that the Coachman had of turning boys into donkeys.

Early evening, SPECTRE Island, off the coast of Tuscany, Italy, 1971:

Monstro II was docked by another finger of rocks that used to be a port causeway with its overhead compartment wide open. This one was very familiar to Pinocchio and Lampwick. In another world in another time it was the entrance to what first looked like fun fair but later turned into a lycanthropic horror story as boys were changed to donkeys and sold for profit. Now it was being used again for the same purpose by the same man from another place and another time.

The current dangers of the island mad themselves known right from the start an a golden scorpion with streamlined pincers and a wickedly hooked singer appeared from one of the cracks in the doors.

"Careful," James said to Pinocchio and Jeppetto. "That is a deathstalker. One of the deadliest kind.

"Jiminy kept in his safe spot under Pinocchio's hat knowing that scorpions of any kind regardless of their kind and deadliness to humans were the dragons of the "bug" world universally. Their favorite food was crickets weather anthropomorphic or not. Once inside to could be seen that the overgrowth was mainly where the carnival rides used to be. The midway road was pretty clear. However it was also dangerous. Before James and his group reached the end of it two more deathstalker scorpions and a rather large and deadly viper showing the zig zag patterns of the European vipers put in an appearance. Lampwick dif one of his duties for the mission by dispatching these creatures with a fore hoof.

The viper was identified by James as a Laventine Viper or Palestinian Viper. Another import like the deathstalker scorpion. The group stopped when the overgrowth was clear enough for the mansion that now dominated SPECTRE island to be seen. Lampwick and Pinocchio recognized it by the name they knew it as, The Model Home Open For Destruction. Before it was a small dome shaped structure where the 8 Ball Saloon would have stood. The area where the Rough House would have stood now held a the majority of the training fields and obstacle courses and where Tobacco Row would have stood now served as the heliport for the Jet Rangers. Most of the carnival midway was overgrowth laced with scorpions and snakes by SPECTRE deliberately for the purpose of rendering the use of the old entrance unsafe now that the doors were old, rotted and no longer locked.

To start things off James felt that all of the Jet Rangers but a single one that would provide the heavy weapons needed to continue their mission. He set limpet grenades on all of them but a single one that was far enough away from the others do that their destruction would not affect it.

The little bombs exploded immediately essentially neutralizing the entire SPECTRE air force but for the one James decided to save. Needless to say that awakened the SPECTRE guards. Ho came out of the mansion not in neat ranks and files but pretty much like ants from an underground nest or bees from a hive.

They started spreading out through the island. Neither the Coachman, Fowlfellow or Gideon were amongst them. Once they spread out in such a haphazard manner this gave James and Lampwikc the opportunity to enter the mansion unseen. James had his Walther PPK in his hand and the nutralizer bomb for the Coachman's latest donkey transforming serum was suspended from Lampwick's mouth. Shortly after that Pinocchio and Gepetto entered the mansion where Pinocchio doffed his hat and let Jiminy out of his hiding place for his part in the mission. All three, James, Geppetto and Pinocchio carried wristwatch televisionscopes that also functioned as two way radios. All three used these to scan every uninhabited part of the mansion while avoiding the still inhabited parts. There seemed to be a cylindrical elevator going through the center of the mansion into the interior of SPECTRE island bot not to the great pool cavern that Pinocchio and Lampwick knew. Rahter this was probably an access to a recent SPECTRE innovation in the island complex's design. The factory for the donkey transformation serum. James showed himself a little to

Draw the SPECTRE guards' fire then sent Lampwick back into the action to kick them senseless from behind knowing that in emergency situations like this hooves may be a better way of doing so than a fight involving drawn out martial arts ritual.

James and Lampwick went into the elevator and pushed the bottom of the two buttons it had. It traveled downward for a very long time finally stopping and opening into a vast room containing huge drums of the donkey conversion serum and the machinery that produced it. There was also the last three people they wanted to see right in front of them, The coachman with his white Persian cat, Fowlfellow and Gideon.

"Welcome, donkey boy and soon to be donkey man." the Coachman said. "However not yet, we will start the fun as soon as Pinocchio and Geppetto are captured. I've been looking foreword to turning that little thorn in my side into a donkey from the day he escaped the first Pleasure Island but figured that he would be dead when Monstro gobbled him up."

"But why do you want to turn Pinocchio in particular into a donkey." James asked.

"Because he was the first blemish on my perfect record that no one once brought to my island ever came back AS A BOY!" the Coachman returned with the same wide reptilian devilish smile that Fowlfellow first saw When the Coachman first told him of this aspect of the Island. "And as a result my entire original operation was put out of business the very week after the escape by Pinocchio, this Donkey boy you have with you and three duck boys from a world called Duckburg or whatever."

It was at time that Lampwick began to miss Duckburg and his friends Huey, Dewey and Louie from the Junior Woodchucks. It was then that he realized that they and the rest of the Junior Woodchucks were the only friends he had ever really had. He was also realizing something else, that Pinocchio, Jiminy and Geppetto were becoming a surrogate for his lost family. It was at that point that Lampwick armed the neutralizer bomb with the arming device designed specifically for his donkey teeth. Even if he had to die the Coachman was not going to put Pinocchio or anybody else on all fours like he was.

The minute the Coachman saw that the bomb was active. He ran for the elevator but was stopped by a James bond Karate chop to the generous target offered by his gut. James got inside the elevator while the recovering Coachman went for another exit that neither James or Lampwick knew about. One that led to the to the great pool cavern and the very type of miniature sub that Ernst Stavro Blofeld was going to use to escape the fake oil rig he eventually was killed on accompanied by Fowlfellow and Gideon as this model was designed by the Coachman himself with seating for three.

This left Lampwick alone with the bomb. He was about to die in less than ten minutes when the bomb took out the factory and probably the mansion and training areas along with it leaving the midway jungle and the SPECTRE guards, snakes and scorpions the only things alive on SPECTRE Island. It was then that the blue light appeared and materialized into the blue Fairy and that Lampwick was changed from a donkey to the boy he originally was and the blue transport bubble formed around him just as the bomb went off. The bubble took Lampwick to the very exit that the Coachman, Fowlfellow and Gideon used ten minutes before.

The explosion had a strange effect on the pool that the Coachman, Fowlfellow and Gideon were cruising through on the minisub. It suddenly became not a pool but a series of endless rainbow lines.

"Somehow we are in a magical wormhole again." Fowlfellow said, "But how. The red star that created such wormholes and other effects on this island was destroyed by the Blue Fairy in Duckburg.

"I would say that some residual magic from the star remained in this cavern in all timelines and that combined with the explosion of Lampwick's bomb created this current wormhole effect."

Thus the three villians escaped again.

When Lampwick was brought back to the surface of the island he saw just how destructive the bomb was still continuing to be. Not only had it totally neutralized all of the donkey transformation serum but it was continuing to create chain reaction explosions throughout island itself. James, Pinocchio and Geppetto had already left the island using the one Jet Ranger helicopter that James left in operable condition when the first great explosion briught the mansion tumbling down. Never in all the years this place was once Pleasure Island was that place as "open for destruction" as it was now. All that was left of SPECTRE was the guards that fled into the overgrowth. However even those who were stung by scorpions and bitten by snakes would have enough time to receive antivenin before the venom became fatal and the local authorities would soon be coming to the island to rescue them all for considerable prison terms.

The Blue Fairy soon found the helecopter with James, Pinocchio, and Geppetto in the distance and followed it to the mainland.

The old mainland port to SPECTRE Island, Tuscany, Italy, 1971

The helicopter landed first at the old mainland port. Pinocchio was still in mourning for Lampwick who he thought dead. Even Jiminy who once thought of him as nothing but an "impudent young pup" and a juvenile delinquent was in mourning for the donkey boy. James knew it was best to leave the little family alone. He had been through this when his wife of one day was killed by Ernst Stavro Blofeld which began his own quest to kill Blofeld and SPECTRE once and for all. However the donkey boy did not die in vain on SPECTRE Island. He was instrumental in destroying SPECTRE's main headquarters once and for all and making sure that his fate would never happen to other little boys again.

Suddenly the old port was lit with a bright blue unlike anything James had seen before even in one of Q's experements. "But Lampwick is not dead," a feminine voice said as the transport bubble containing lamp wick in his new form landed and expanded to include Pinocchio, Geppetto and Jiminy.

"You made it!" Pinocchio shouted excitedly. "You are a REAL BOY Lampy."

"Yes Pinocchio," the fairy said. "By potentially setting that device off on himself to protect you from being turned into a donkey Lampwick has proven himself brave, truthful and unselfish in this world and has broken the curse of Pleasure Island upon him at last and earned the right to be a real boy of his own original kind again. James Bond's first major mission is finally over, SPECTRE is over and done with so now he can be assigned to other threats against his nation. However Yours, Lampwick's, Geppetto's and Jiminy's still must continue."

"What," Lampwick said. "I was thinking of taking the dog face back and going back to Duckburg to be with my Friends, Huey, Dewey and Louie there."

"I'm sorry to report that the Coachman has escaped again due to a freak wormhole resulting from mixing of residual magic from that island with the explosion of the device that destroyed most of the SPECTRE complex."

"Then I must continue on this mission being that I'm indirectly responsible for his latest escape having set off that device." Lampwick said. "Of course I'll go in the next adventure."

"Once again you have proved yourself worthy of being a real boy with that decision Lampwick."

"Now where are we off to this time." Jiminy asked.

"A small town in southwestern Kansas in 1875 called Dodge City."

"You mean we might to get to meet Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson or some other famous Old West lawman in person this time around like we met James Bond, a famous future lawman here." Pinocchio asked.

"Not on the time line that the Coachman has landed in." The fairy returned. "On that timeline the only Peace Officer in Dodge City in 1875 is a US Marshal named Mathew Dillon. However he is just as famous in his time line as the two you mentioned are in theirs."

"But what of the other two rats." Lampwick said. "Foxy and Kitty."

"You are right," he fairy said. "They are with The Coachman in the Dodge City area of 1875. However there is somebody in that area that might deal with them in short order, a wolfer and foxer named Festus Hagen. Bot no more talk we must go now.

**Next Fan Fic - The Wishing Star Wormhole Saga continues in the Gunsmoke Universe with a Pinocchio / Gunsmoke Crossover called THE COACHMAN COMES TO DODGE.**

**The basic plot of this new fan fic concerns the idea that because of the Coachman's change of timeline the red star that Magica De Spell conjured is also going to switch its own landing location in 1875 from Collodi, Tuscany, Italy to Dodge City, Kansas, USA thereby changing its history and therefore allowing the Coachman to use its wormholes and evil magic again. The mission this time is that Pinocchio, Geppetto and Lampwick must capture the Coachman and keep the Coachman and the Red Star from finding each other in Dodge City therby keeping the red star's history from its creation to its destruction in Duckburg intact with the aid of Matt Dillon, Festus Hagen, and Chester Goode.**

**Look for the new Wishing Star / Wormhole fan fic under Gunsmoke in Disney Crossovers **

**Now for a little spoiler, this saga will end after the Gunsmoke episode in another Duckburg episode If you are reading carefully the idea of another Duckburg episode has already been suggested in this ending for the James Bond episode anyway.**


End file.
